Pieces
by Tonks32
Summary: She can come across as very stern and rigid, perhaps even humorless, but she is human after all. And the conclave shook her, thought if asked she would deny it. Cassandra holds everything end until she either explodes or breaks. This time she shattered into a million little pieces and the Herald just happens to be near by.
1. Chapter 1

So here is another Cassandra/ M!Inquisitor story in my attempt to help correct the lack of stories. A little moment just shortly after the start of the game with Cassandra. I think some will find this a little OC for her, but like her I too am a person who keeps everything in until it just reaches a breaking point. As tough as Cassandra is, even she has one. So this is my take on it. Also I strive my best to keep all the lore right, so please if there is anything I leave out or misuse please feel free to tell me. Also I'm still looking for a beta because I don't want to spoil the game for the wonderful swartzvald who is all to kind to edit my stuff. Any ways enjoy!

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Sleep was something that Gideon severally missed. Ever since waking up in Haven, the second time anyways, he couldn't seem to get two maybe three hours' tops of sleep. So he found himself exploring ever crock and nanny of Haven. Since most everyone but a few guards was sleeping, he was able to move around without any restrictions. Gideon uncovered many documents about the history of the chantry and Haven which lead him to finding secret passages that went under the building and all the way to the far trebuchet on the edge of the compound. A great short cut to the docks, his favorite place to escape to. Those nights he couldn't make it there the tunnels were a great spot to hide out in and find solitude from all those prying eyes looking at him for guidance.

Tonight was no different. In the dead of night, Gideon slipped out of bed to dress for the chilly weather that awaited him outside. He grabbed the lute he had found during his exploring and silently slid out of his room. Their trip to find Mother Giselle had been successful, but it was also the first time that Gideon saw first handed just how bad the blasted war between mages and Templars was. They walked Mother Giselle as far as they could, but so many people needed their help. People going hungry. People freezing. Innocent victims being slayed while the Templars and mages battled each other, not caring who got caught in the middle. So many people were suffering that Gideon had to do something. In the end they had made a very little dent in what really needed to be done. He was coming to the realization that no matter what he did it was never going to be enough.

He just reached the hall leading to the secret passage when he stopped dead in his tracks. Someone was crying. Gideon tilted his head in the direction of the sound and frowned. Gut wrenching sobs was coming from one of the nearby sleeping quarters. "Keep walking Trevelyan." He muttered to himself yet his feet were leading him away from the passage and towards the sound. Maker what was he doing? There were so many people on Haven mourning losses at the conclave that he couldn't even fathom who might be on the other side of the door. So why wasn't he just continuing on with his nightly ritual? Maybe this damn mark messed him up in the head as well.

Easing open the door, he squinted to try to see better in the dimly lit room. There was a single candle burning on the table beside the untouched be that was almost at the end of its life. He opened the door a bit more determined to find the source of cries. Who he found stopped him dead in the door way. "Cassandra?"

The seeker had her back towards the door and was nearly hidden sitting between the wall and the bed. The sounds of his voice caused her to stiffen, "go away."

If he was smart he would have turned on his heels and left Cassandra alone. Well he could honestly say that no one ever accused of him being particularly smart. Knowing that she would be mortified if anyone else heard her crying, Gideon stepped inside and quickly shut the door behind him.

"Go away Herald." Her voice wavered so the command really had no heat behind it.

Gideon's heart wrenched as the fearless Seeker of Truth clamped her hands over her mouth in a desperation to muffle her sobs. She had carried herself from the moment they met as this tough as steel woman that he was sure that she didn't even know how to cry. Seeing her shoulders shake so violently while she fought the tears made Gideon want it to stop. He would rather hear her disgruntle growls and see her eyes roll like she did most of the time they talked then see her like this. Risking bodily harm, Gideon crossed the room and settled down beside Cassandra. He left a few inches between them just to be safe.

Cassandra turned her head away from him, trying to hide her tears. Of all people that could have heard her it had to be the herald. Maker what was wrong with her? This wasn't her. Her emotions were something she prided herself on for being able to always keep in check. Now here she was in the dead of night crying herself into exhaustion. And for what? Mourning the deaths and events that she couldn't change. Being angry was so much easier. Anger at blood mages that killed her brother. Anger at the events that led her to be the right hand of divine. Anger for those responsible for the explosion of the conclave. Anger at the loss of lives there. Anger at the man beside her. Anger for the damn mark on his hand and for starting all of this. Yes anger was so much easier than tears. Just no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop the sobs from spilling from her body.

The explosion happened weeks ago. In her opinion she had done a damn fine job of holding everything together. Holding herself together. Then Leliana had to speak one name and she fell apart. Cassandra barley was inside her bedchambers before every unshed tear, scream, and everything else took her over. Every heart ache, every sorrow, and grief. All of it just broke to the surface and she couldn't seem to wrangle it back it. Probably because she held so much in for such a long time. The last time she cried was when her brother died. Thought was enough to somber a little, her sobs shifting into soft hiccups. Maker had it been that long? No wonder the break down was so serve. The important thing was for her pull herself back together. She had hoped to have this little episode without knowing. It was far easier to have people think that she was nothing but an emotionless shell. Why hadn't he left?

The unexpected sound of a chord being strummed took Cassandra by surprise. Thinking that she was hearing things, she brought her legs up to her chest. A soft mellow melody soon filled the room just loud enough to be heard over her soft sobs. It took her a moment to realize that the music was coming from Gideon. Curious, she shifted her head just slightly so she could see him out of the corner of her eyes. There the herald was sitting in his traveling coat and light jacket strumming the lute with his long calloused fingers. The mark on his hand casted a soft green light on the polished wood. He looked tired. Cassandra had been so caught up in doing whatever it took to close the breach she didn't stop to think about what all this stress was doing to him. She could see the bags now, under his grey eyes. The deep lines creasing his brow growing deeper as the weight on his shoulder grew.

Cassandra eventually ran out of energy to shed another tear. She wasn't sure how long that took, but Gideon didn't leave or stop strumming the lute. What surprised her was that the man's presence and the soft music brought her a sense of comfort. For some reason, Gideon had known that trying to comfort her with words would be useless. Since there was no need to hide anymore since he had already seen the tears, Cassandra turned her head in his direction and laid her cheek on top of her knees. "You play beautifully."

The sudden sound of her voice made Gideon jump a bit, but he tried hiding it by shifting the instruments in his hand. There was no confidence in her voice. No sign of that seeker that charged at him in the cell at Haven demanding answers from him. She sounded broken. "Much to my parents distain, it was the one thing that exceled at. I couldn't recite the chantry prayer to save my life but I could remember dozen of ballads of grand adventures and their heroes." The corner of his mouth lifted.

"I'm sorry." Cassandra swiped at her blotchy cheek, "I didn't mean to disturb you."

He shrugged, "didn't disturb much. And you shouldn't be sorry. It's nice to know there is a heart under all that armor."

The statement should have offended her, but found herself letting out a small laugh. It seemed like the Herald was possibly the only person that was brave enough to speak his mind when it came to her. She knew that her demeanor made it hard for people to approach her without getting their head chewed off. "Tell the dwarf and, herald or not, I will kill you."

Grinning, Gideon switched into another soft sounding melody of a song that seemed to fit the mood. She was grieving. He could see it plain as day on her face. He didn't realize just how much an affect the loss of Divine was on her. Plus there had to be others there. Fellow seekers? Members of the chantry? Friends? He found the thought leading into another question he hated to admit to. Did Cassandra even have friends? It occurred to him that he didn't really know much about the seeker. On their journey to the Crossroads there had been very little talk. There was some bickering between her and Varric. Him at times as well because he found it enjoyable to press Cassandra's buttons from time to time. Varric had been the one that filled most of their travel with grand tales to break the uncomfortable silence. Looking back, Cassandra really hadn't talked to him outside of barking orders and voicing her opinion in the war room on what to do first. Gideon told himself that he was going to fix that when the returned back from the Hinterlands, but must have let it slip his sleep deprived mind.

The silence was broken once again, this time by Gideon's silvery voice. Cassandra found herself entranced by the rise and fall of each note he sang. It was consoling, soft, and beautiful. The words he sang carried the weight of the despair she was feeling. As well as the hope she had in doing what needed to be done.

_I feel sun through the ashes in the sky. Where is the one who'll guide us into the night._

Cassandra found herself lifting her gaze from his skilled fingers moving effortlessly frets to face. It was the first time she truly stopped to fully look at him. In their short two weeks together they had spent very little time one on one. When they were in the room with a person it was easy for Cassandra to avert her gaze, never lingering long enough to get a good look at him. Even during their trip to the Hinterlands, she had always been in front or behind him staying distant because, if she admitted to herself, she blamed him. Something that was easy to blame him for the divine's death, for the breech, for 'his death'. Gideon had a narrow face with angular cheekbones and a ruddy complication. No doubt a result from his constant exposure to the son and the harsh winds. It was hard, but she could see a few scars that marred his jaw, lip, and brow. His mouth was a hard line and chapped. His hair was a little over grown, falling over his ears and stopping short of his brow. It was brown. No, she corrected herself trying to find the right color. It was a bit hard to do in the dim light. There was a bit of blonde tint to thick mane of hair. His eyes, grey as storm clouds, showed the passion he had for singing as well as the sorrow the words he sang carried. In the end, Cassandra concluded that he wasn't that bad to look at. Not that she was thinking such a thing.

"I am the one who can recount what we've lost." Gideon strummed the last remaining of the chords of the ballad. "I am the one who will live on."

As the last words echoed in the darkness, Cassandra casted her gaze down word. "You could give any bard a run for their money."

"I've made some decent coin from time to time." He confessed taking a moment to choose his words carefully. "She must have meant a great deal to you. The divine?"

"She was an amazing woman." Cassandra whispered, "She believed that there could be peace between the mages and Templars. If anyone could do it, she was the one who could."

"Was there." Gideon chewed on his lip for a moment before risking his head by asking, "was there anyone you lost? At the conclave I mean?"

Cassandra found herself answering without fully thinking about it, "yes." He didn't push her for more information, yet she found herself giving the information freely. "His name was Regalyan."

"Ah." Another surprise. Gideon was discovering that there was much more to Seeker Cassandra than met the eye. "Was he a good man?"

"He was."

Gideon saw her yawn even though she tried to hide it. Taking his cue to leave, he pushed to his feet. "I'll let you get some sleep."

"Herald." Her voice stopped him just before the door. Her voice hitched in her throat and Cassandra found herself fighting back tears. Maker help her, she was on the verge of asking him to stay. For some reason he was a comfort. And that realization was the reason she was going to erect a nice metaphoric wall between them. "In the Hinterlands, what you did for all those people. I just…" She huffed fumbling with words like she often did when it came to expressing her emotions.

Somehow understanding, Gideon gave her a small nod, "I know I'm not what you expected and that you blame me for all of this, but I swear I'm with the inquisition fully and until the breech is closed. I hope in time I can show you that I will do anything to make this all right. To get justice for the divine, for all of those lost at the conclave. I know it's not much…"

"It brings more comfort than you think." Cassandra assured, grateful now that if anyone had to hear it, it had been him. "And Herald."

He ducked his head back into the room, "you know I have a name right? Just like you and everyone else in Thedas."

The corner of her mouth twitched like she was fighting the urge to smile, "Trevelyan. One word to the dwarf…"

"I know you'll put my head on a spike." He was glad to see the steel returning to her voice, "lips are sealed."

Cassandra finally gave into the smile she had been fighting.

Gideon shut the door quietly and turned, running straight into a certain spymaster. "Maker's breath Leliana. You nearly stopped my heart." HE gasped stumbling back a few steps, "what in Thedas are you doing out here? At this hour?"

Leliana raised one of her perfectly sculpted eye brows with a slight smirk on her face, "I could ask you the same question, Herald of Andraste."

"I wish people would stop calling me that." Wanting to take the conversation somewhere Cassandra wouldn't hear, he started back towards his room. He knew Leliana's need for knowing all would cause her to follow.

And she disappoint.

"You didn't answer my question." Leliana politely pointed out.

"It's not what you think."

"With Cassandra it never is."

Sighing, he stopped and looked back at the bard, "I heard her crying."

Leliana's face softened, "Cassandra was crying?" The question was full of disbelief, "and she let you see that."

"I didn't give her much choice in the matter."

"I'm surprise you're still standing."

"Me too."

"I fear I am what set her off."

"How so?"

Leliana sighed and steered him towards the front door of the chantry. The grounds were empty so there was no chance that no one would over hear them. The sun had yet to peek over the mountains and there was a familiar tint of green reflecting off the snow from the breech above. "The conclave, it hit us both hard. I don't close myself off to my emotions like Cass does."

"I would have never guessed." Gideon remarked.

"Keep using that sense of humor with Cassandra and she's going to run you through with her sword."

"I"ll take my chances."

"Cassandra is the type to hold everything in, it's what gives her the drive she has and her resolve to get things done. She holds to anger too easily and pushes aside things grief and sorrow until it all bottles up. Most of the time she explodes. I've never known for her to fall to pieces. Maker if I had known, I would have never…"

Gideon frowned when the rouge trailed off in mid sentences. "Would never have what?"

Leliana waved her hand to dismiss the thought, "it's not my place to say. If Cassandra wants you to know, she will in her own time."

"She mentioned a man named Regalyan." He could see the surprise on her face though she did a fine job of trying to mask it. "Who was he?"

"I won't tell you." Leliana answer much to his annoyance. "Just know Cassandra might seem like she's made of ice and has nothing but callousness and aggression in her. She is so much more than that. She just lets few people close enough to see it. I am fortunate to be one of those people. Maybe you can be one as well."

Leliana left him just outside the front gate. He was so deep in thought that he hadn't even heard her footsteps on the snow as she left. What scared him was the fact he really did want to be one of those people. Not sure what that meant, the herald took off towards the dock.

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So what did you guys think? I would love feedback! And those who love this pairing, don't fear there will be more!


	2. Chapter 2

Oh hey look a second part. Figured it would be easier to make a second chapter then make a whole new story.

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When life in Haven began to stir, Gideon pushed off the bed to get dressed. He felt sluggish and heavy, side effects for not getting any sleep. How long had he been up now? Two days? Maybe it was time to ask Solas or ask the botanist for something to help him sleep. He stumbled towards the dresser and poured a jug of water into the basin. Taking a breath, he plunged his face into the water. The coldness did exactly what he was hoping. When he came up for air, he felt slightly rejuvenated. Something that wasn't going to last too long. So he dressed quickly in a pair of riding breeches, tunic, and his Suede. Putting on his armor seemed too great of a task at the moment. Plus he would be wearing enough as they planned to set off for Val Royeaux the next day. On his way out the door he caught his reflection in the small mirror on the wall and stopped. He looked haggard with large cry circles beneath both blood shot eyes and the slight gaunt of his cheeks didn't help him look any better. Growling in disproval, he hastily combed his fingers through his hair to get some of the wild strands to fall flat. He needed a shave too. That would have to wait. Besides he was beginning to like the stubbly look.

The brisk morning air greeted him the moment he stepped outside. Maker he really hated the cool. Gideon trudge through the light slow with no real destination. People passed always with a verbal greeting or a wave. Gideon did his best to smile and return their greeting, hoping they couldn't see the strain on his face. They looked to him for guidance. To lead. And what good was he if he couldn't even drum up enough strength to put on a set of armor? When he hit the gate he realized that his feet had carried him to the front gate. Or more like to Cassandra. The seeker was out at the raining yard, as usual, hacking her sword at the training dummy with such vigor Gideon was surprised the thing was still standing. He approached her wondering if she at least got any sleep.

Cassandra caught site of Gideon coming towards her and slashed so hard at the dummy it sent a shock wave of pain up her arm. It seemed training was a good outlet for her frustration over last night events. Though she was grateful that he had been there, she was angry at herself for falling apart in the first place. There was no way that he could look at her and not see that distraught woman crying over something that couldn't be changed. She looked to the side when his footsteps grew closer and grunted before hitting the dummy again.

Well it was nice to see the steel back in the seeker's eyes again. Though judging by the red brimmed eyes she hadn't got anymore sleep after he left. He tilted his head, admiring her form a bit more than was porberly necessary. "You're a force of nature you know that."

Cassandra kept her eyes locked on the faceless dummy, "when I need to be."

His lips curved into a small lopsided grin, "Impressive."

"You flatter me."

"I'm trying."

Scoffing, she turned her back to him and moved to the next dummy.

Gideon followed much to her dislike, "did you get any sleep?"

Those red brimmed eyes turned towards him giving him the answer. Cassandra thought about moving again, but knew the herald would just follow. "I couldn't stop thinking."

"About what?"

"Am I doing the right thing?" She hacked at the dummy wondering why it seemed easy to talk to him. "The things I've set in motions could destroy everything I revered my whole life. One day they will write about me calling me a mad woman." Cassandra recoiled from her blow to adjust her grip the hilt of the sword. "A traitor, a fool. And they may be right."

Well it seemed that the seeker hadn't fully put herself back together. Gideon hated the strained he heard in her voice. Was she questioning herself because she had a breakdown? Did she not think that she was allowed to grieve? "What does your faith tell you?" He was almost afraid of her answer. If she lost her faith he was sure that Cassandra would never be whole again.

"I believe you are innocent." Cassandra drove the tip of her sword into the soft ground. "I believe more is going on here then we can see. And no one will do anything about. They will stand in the fire and complain it's hot. But is this the Maker's will?"

He arched a scared brow in question, "you don't believe I'm the Herald of Andraste?"

She turned around and found herself studying his face again. In the morning light, she could see the scars now. There was a smooth line running through his left eyebrow, nearly all the way to the lid of his eye. Along the curve of his jaw, dipping down the side and just stopping short of his throat is a deep scar weathered by time. It was jagged at the edges showing the lack of proper care the wound received. The one above his lip was small and the same discoloration from the rest of his skin as the one on his jaw. She mindlessly wondered just how he got them. "I wanted to believe that you were."

"So you don't believe it then?"

"Regardless of what I think, I know that the Maker does work in strange ways."

Gideon found himself caring a great deal just what Cassandra thought. It was her inquisition she had asked him to lead. Her cause. The only reason he was even here was because of the damn mark on his hand. "Whatever you have done, will do were things that had to be done. You didn't have a choice. You're trying to bring peace to the land and to close the breech by any means possible. Whoever looks at that and say you were in the wrong, is crazy."

"If there are consequences for my actions, I will face them without resisting. I just pray the price is not too high."

"You didn't have a choice." Gideon repeated trying to get that through her head. "No one was doing a damn thing."

"Didn't I have a choice?" Cassandra knew that she sometime made irrational choices believing it was the best course of actions. That trait had come back to bite her in the ass more than once. "My trainers always said that I was brash."

His lips twitched, "you don't say."

She scowled at him, "they said that I must think before I act. I see what must be done and do it. I don't see a point of running around in circles like a dog chasing its tail. But I am not above admitting when I'm wrong." That caused great effort on her part to confess. She didn't need him to question her in battle. Didn't need him to think she would make a choice that would endanger him or their companions. "I misjudged you did I not? I can't be so careless to do so again."

"If I was in your boots I would have done the same thing." He waved his hand, palm out so the mark was visible. "I mean having this is more than a bit suspicious."

"I wanted someone to blame for the conclave. For the most holy's death and it was easy to direct that at you." Cassandra let out a heavy sigh, "I am sorry for that."

Gideon hoped that he did a good job of masking the surprise the words evoked from him. She apologized to him? Casandra wasn't one to do so lightly.

"And I want to thank you again. For last night…"

"An apology and a thank you in less than thirty seconds." Gideon couldn't help but grin. "Are you ill?"

She gave him a disgust snort before stalking off towards the front gate.

Way to go, Trevelyan. She opened a door to let him in just a fraction and now your back on your ass looking like an idiot. The urge to poke until he got a rise in her was almost instinct. Maybe it was because he had been hanging out with Varric to long. "Cassandra wait." He took off after her, most likely looking utterly ridiculous chasing after to her.

When he passed Varric, the dwarf laughed and crossed his arms over his chest, "pissed the Seeker off again, did you scruffy."

The nickname made his sputter for a second, "scruffy."

Varric rubbed his clean shaven face in explanation, "you're growing a nice beard there Herald."

"Does no one know my damn name?" He growled frustrated with himself just as much as he was with Cassandra. Figuring her out was proving harder than sealing the damn whole in the sky.

"The seeker went off towards the Chantry." Varric informed, "So what did you do?"

Gideon didn't answer him, just took off in the direction Varric had pointed to. He caught Cassandra just before she could slip into the war room. "Maker Cassandra, just stop for a second." He demanded.

She whirled on him so fast that she nearly knocked him over, "why? So you can throw words back in my face? I thought you better, perhaps I still misjudge you."

"Look I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made a joke about it. It's just…" He shoved a hand through his ash blonde hair as if somehow getting it out of his eyes would make it easier to think. "I grew up with four sisters and my favorite thing was to push their buttons. It's a habit I guess to try to see how far I can go before it blows up in my face."

"Four sisters?" Cassandra asked.

"All older." Gideon informed with a slight grin, "So you can imagine what my life was like growing up with that."

The corner of her mouth twitched, but Cassandra refused to let the smile lose. "I can only imagine."

"Oh!" The warrior pointed at the seeker now grinning from ear to ear, "You're smiling."

"I am not." Damn it yes she was. Maker how was it this man could get under her skin one moment and make her laugh the next? She wasn't use to this. Men usually didn't come within a ten foot radius of her, too afraid that she would rip out their hearts and feed it to them. With her rigid demeanor she wasn't helping the matter. So what made the herald so brave to try to push in further? Cassandra wasn't above admitting that it was nice having a man attempt it at least. "Think nothing of it, Trevelyan. I'm sure it's just a fluke."'

"Gideon." The herald stressed on a heavy sigh, "My name is Gideon. I'm named after my grandfather. A name, according to my parents, that I'm not living up too… What I just said was not the confusing to cause that face."

"Well it just occurred to me that I don't know much about you." Cassandra confessed.

"I can say the same for you."

"You would like to know more about me?"

Gideon sighed. She was acting like he just asked her to go dance naked around the streets of Haven. Was nothing simple with this woman? Once again, if he was smart then he would just walk away and save himself the head ache. And once again he proved that he wasn't because he started talking again. "Is that such a problem?"

"Well." She twisted her hands together, "no. Not exactly. I'm just curious to your motivation."

"We are going to be stuck together for a bit marching all across Thedas until the breech is closed. I would like us to be closer. Is there harm in that?"

Cassandra's dark eyes narrowed still unsure of his true motivations. "Most likely." He made a noise and she sighed. She wasn't going to be able to get on with the rest of her day until she talked to him. "Fine you can ask one question."

"Just one?" Gideon asked with a pout.

"Get on with it, Herald before I change my mind."

"Okay then." Gideon thought for a moment, "How did you become right hand of the divine? Is that reserved for some type of Templars or something."

"You mean to tell me you don't know?" Cassandra asked cautiously

He shrugged, "should I?"

"Well…umm… I've met very few people who haven't heard the story."

"Well now I need to know."

"It's not as exciting as people make it out to be." Somehow the story got bigger and bigger every time she heard it. "The short version is I uncovered a plot of the previous divine's life, saved her life, and became the right hand."

Gideon shook his head refusing her to leave without giving more information than that. "There had to be more than that."

"Sweet Andraste." Cassandra shifted uncomfortably, "you really want to know? It happened so long ago and the way the ballad's sing about it makes it so much bigger than it was."

"Well that's what happens to legends."

She grunted is disproval, "I am no legend. I simply did the right thing. Others tell it like I single handedly took down a horde of dragons and save the divines life."

"A heard of dragons?" Gideon asked earning an eye roll. "Just how many did you face?"

"In reality, I stumbled onto the plot by accident. There was a dragon, but I alone didn't defeat it. I had the help of loyal mages who rallied to the cause. Without their help both the divine and I would have died."

He let out a soft chuckle and shook his head in amusement, "you're delightful you know that." His own words surprised him.

Cassandra stiffened and immediately went into defense mode, "I object." She had to force her fidgeting hands behind her back. "There is nothing delightful about me."

"I beg to differ." Gideon insisted, "There is far more to you than you let on and it's now one of my main purposes in life to uncover it all."

"I preferred you in the stocks." Cassandra growled turning to escape into the war room. She smiled when the door slammed straight in the Herald's face.


End file.
